Why We
Take a minute and ask yourself why you write. The real reason, not some fluff answer you have for off the cuff conversations. What, deep down, is your real reason for writing? Don't tell. Know the reason and embrace it. Let it drive you to write more and more truly. Knowing yourself is tough, accepting that self is even harder.
I write for solace.
After my first tour in Iraq, I was a mess. PTSD was a heavy arm over my shoulders, and I just could not shrug it off. I languished for a long time until my brother made an off the cuff remark about how there wasn't a good movie about the Red Baron, the WWI fighter ace. I delved into research and found a soldier who suffered as I did. The Red Baron endured his wartime hardships and refused to leave the war, even though he had the chance and plenty of reasons to stop fighting.
I wrote a screenplay about the Red Baron and found that the PTSD lessened as I wrote. Why did this
work? Damned if I know, but it worked. The script did well in several contests and I had a long talk with a Hollywood producer about the script. Then Flyboys tanked at the box office and the Germans made a movie about that Red Baron. Neither movie was a success and I shelved the script.
Iraq called me back and my second tour was just as miserable and terrible as the first. The war had
changed in my absence, and the Army found itself in a moral quandary with our new allies, Iraqis
who'd turned on Al Qaeda. The same Iraqis who'd been fighting us. I'll let you imagine what it's like to maintain a relationship with someone you know killed your brothers. But we needed those Iraqis on our side to stabilize the country and end the war.
Questions galled me in the years after I returned home: Did the Army sell its soul to win the war? Is
there victory without honor? I fought for an answer, and some quietude, as I wrote my first novel, Into Darkness.
The experience was cathartic and I had a blast crafting the story. Letting the characters wrestle with
the moral ambiguity, instead of slapping a Mary Sue screed onto the page was a challenge, but I want
readers to wrestle with the right and wrong of what happens in the novel and make up their own minds.
I love writing, and I'm going back to the Red Baron for my next book.
Joe, and many other fine authors, have shared their wisdom on this blog. While I know very little, let
me share what I learned about the mechanics of publishing. "Based on my experience," are the most
terrifying words an Army 2nd Lieutenant can say to his Soldiers. I do feel like a 2nd Lieutenant again, I've got the authority (the book is published), but none of the credibility (the market hasn't decided if the book is any good).
-- Write a detailed outline. My outline helped me see which characters did very little and could be
combined/removed. My outline had three (three!) flashback sequences. I hate flashbacks, and because
of the outline I saw that I could remove them all and turn them into a short story prequel for the novel. That short story became The Caliban Program. Plus, the outline showed me where I could combine characters and which slow chapters needed to be cut.
-- Write the book that only you can write and what makes you excited. Personal benefits aside, I was
uniquely qualified to write the story that became Into Darkness. I hope other more veterans write about the war, or channel their experiences into their work. What about you, dear reader? What is that unique story brewing inside your mind? Don't tell, get cracking! The world needs that genius on paper and in digits for time and all eternity.
-- Don't be in a rush to publish. When I finished The Caliban Program, Into Darkness was nowhere near done. A work-mate talked me out of putting the short story out months before the novel was ready, and he was right. It is a lousy tease to get someone interested in a story, then promise that story at some point in the future. If someone likes what they see in the teaser, the novel is available.
Do I still have lots to learn? Yes. The whole marketing angle is something I have to work on. My next book should come out faster and smoother.
Stay Safe,
Richard
